THE HIDDEN SECRETS OF A SECRET SANTA
December 3rd 2006 16:54
With Office-Christmas-Party Season upon us once again its time we revealed some of the more subtle secrets lurking in the modern practice of a Secret Santa.
A Secret Santa, for the uninitiated, is a cheap and primarily hassle free way to handle the fulfilling experience of Christmas gift giving in large work situations.
The process is simple enough; you pick out a name of a colleague at random praying all along that it’s not your boss and then proceed to buy them a gift to the value of the designated limit. The gift is then wrapped and a small card is attached to indicate who it belongs to before it is handed out at the Christmas function somewhere between the last meal and the first instance of a bare arse touching the photocopier.
The only thing left for you to do is to remember to act pleased with what you receive no matter how cheap and insignificant the gift may be. It wont be hard to work out which colleague picked you out of the hat if you have received something half-decent, they’ll be the one who stops a nudge and a wink short of a nudge, nudge, wink, wink when asking about what you ended up getting.
The real danger lies in the power of anonymity. What better time for your colleagues to drop an otherwise uncomfourtable hint than through a secret gift. Why do you think you were the only one to receive a can of foot odour treatment? Breath freshener, shampoo or anti-perspirant, fancy or otherwise, are also dead give-aways but there are also some gifts with a more subtle meaning.
Pollyfilla if you’re a male for example may simply indicate that you expose a bit too much when bending over around the workplace, particularly if you’re a tradesman. An adult size pacifier, no matter how cute, probably signifies you talk too much so I’d think twice about going around telling everyone all about and finally, any DVD featuring Tom Cruise probably means that you’ve been missing all the other hints that you’re no longer wanted by the company.
So if you’re participating in a Secret Santa this year make sure to take advantage of the opportunity and think long and hard about what you would like to tell your colleague through the gift you are buying.
There’s always a subscription to HA! Magazine if they are not as funny as they think. Unless off course you’ve chosen your boss in which case just remember to keep laughing at all the crap they keep dishing up.
A Secret Santa, for the uninitiated, is a cheap and primarily hassle free way to handle the fulfilling experience of Christmas gift giving in large work situations.
The process is simple enough; you pick out a name of a colleague at random praying all along that it’s not your boss and then proceed to buy them a gift to the value of the designated limit. The gift is then wrapped and a small card is attached to indicate who it belongs to before it is handed out at the Christmas function somewhere between the last meal and the first instance of a bare arse touching the photocopier.
The only thing left for you to do is to remember to act pleased with what you receive no matter how cheap and insignificant the gift may be. It wont be hard to work out which colleague picked you out of the hat if you have received something half-decent, they’ll be the one who stops a nudge and a wink short of a nudge, nudge, wink, wink when asking about what you ended up getting.
The real danger lies in the power of anonymity. What better time for your colleagues to drop an otherwise uncomfourtable hint than through a secret gift. Why do you think you were the only one to receive a can of foot odour treatment? Breath freshener, shampoo or anti-perspirant, fancy or otherwise, are also dead give-aways but there are also some gifts with a more subtle meaning.
Pollyfilla if you’re a male for example may simply indicate that you expose a bit too much when bending over around the workplace, particularly if you’re a tradesman. An adult size pacifier, no matter how cute, probably signifies you talk too much so I’d think twice about going around telling everyone all about and finally, any DVD featuring Tom Cruise probably means that you’ve been missing all the other hints that you’re no longer wanted by the company.
So if you’re participating in a Secret Santa this year make sure to take advantage of the opportunity and think long and hard about what you would like to tell your colleague through the gift you are buying.
There’s always a subscription to HA! Magazine if they are not as funny as they think. Unless off course you’ve chosen your boss in which case just remember to keep laughing at all the crap they keep dishing up.
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