Lawns and Yawns
November 24th 2006 20:40
If you love gardening then turn away now as this post is not for you.
For the rest of you and I hope I'm not alone here, isn't mowing the lawn about as exciting as watching the damn thing grow?
At least in my case it seems to grow at an alarmingly fast pace. I would have sworn it was a few weeks ago when I last gave up 4 precious hours of my what is obviously becoming a very dull life. Lets face it, would I be talking about mowing lawns otherwise?
But I'm starting to recognise all the signs. First its our cat losing her play thing in this newly developed ecosystem. The dumb thing sits at me feet giving me that 'Me? Fetch it? You threw it, you get it!' look.
After a bit of prompting in the form of picking her up and throwing her after it, a second sign emerges; the cat goes missing. Perhaps 'missing' is a bit harsh as you can still hear her desperate cries of 'Where the hell am I?' but the chances of finding her are about as good as Tom Cruise turning to Katie and saying 'I'm sick of all this publicity'.
This is why I send my 10 year old son to find her and you guessed it, after a few minutes the third sign is staring you straight in the face. But before you accuse me of being a cruel father, its important you know that I don't abandon the kid completely as I call it words of encourgaement such as 'keep looking son!' until he at least is reunited with the cat.
Now for most people, 3 signs are enough but in case you needed more evidence, you know its time to mow your lawns when you notice movements in your mini jungle and rush out to welcome the survivors only to be greeted by an excited David Attenborough and his film crew.
I'll catch you all later, David needs ta hand setting up his camera.
For the rest of you and I hope I'm not alone here, isn't mowing the lawn about as exciting as watching the damn thing grow?
At least in my case it seems to grow at an alarmingly fast pace. I would have sworn it was a few weeks ago when I last gave up 4 precious hours of my what is obviously becoming a very dull life. Lets face it, would I be talking about mowing lawns otherwise?
But I'm starting to recognise all the signs. First its our cat losing her play thing in this newly developed ecosystem. The dumb thing sits at me feet giving me that 'Me? Fetch it? You threw it, you get it!' look.
After a bit of prompting in the form of picking her up and throwing her after it, a second sign emerges; the cat goes missing. Perhaps 'missing' is a bit harsh as you can still hear her desperate cries of 'Where the hell am I?' but the chances of finding her are about as good as Tom Cruise turning to Katie and saying 'I'm sick of all this publicity'.
This is why I send my 10 year old son to find her and you guessed it, after a few minutes the third sign is staring you straight in the face. But before you accuse me of being a cruel father, its important you know that I don't abandon the kid completely as I call it words of encourgaement such as 'keep looking son!' until he at least is reunited with the cat.
Now for most people, 3 signs are enough but in case you needed more evidence, you know its time to mow your lawns when you notice movements in your mini jungle and rush out to welcome the survivors only to be greeted by an excited David Attenborough and his film crew.
I'll catch you all later, David needs ta hand setting up his camera.
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You can never have too much driveway!
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